3 years ago...

monday was my 3-year "anniversary" on the weight watchers plan. and it's actually really bittersweet. all in all, i know i should be happy - in that time, my loss has hit the 178-lb mark. i've gone from a size 28 to a size 10/12. i'm in the best shape of my life, from both a strength and cardio perspective.

unfortunately, i have a lot of negative thoughts in my head that are blocking my celebration. the biggest is that this has not been a good year. since labor day of last year, i have not lost a single pound. since january 1st, i've actually gained weight - nearly 20 lbs. - with much of that happening since may 1st. summer has not been good for my willpower, and has felt like a steady barrage of birthdays, weddings, barbecues, and busy-ness that has allowed me to make a steady stream of unhealthy food choices, and has put my motivation and willpower into a tailspin. of course, it's all a negative reinforcement cycle, and the less willpower and motivation i have, the worse i feel about my self-image, confidence, and the rest.

i know i've come a long way. i carry my before picture around in my WW book to prove it. but i have to look at this as day 1. day "i've never done weight watchers, so let's see how this works." i know that i can knock off these last (sigh) 40 pounds. i know that this time right now - between labor day and thanksgiving - is my best chance at making something happen. i have 11 weeks. exactly. and i know i can lose at least 10 lbs between now and thanksgiving day.

i start at 189.2 (since i'm not weighing in this week, due to the water retention).