frustration

as i pointed out on sunday, i have eaten my way through the greater Denver area this last week. basically, if it wasn't mooing, it went in my mouth. and for whatever reason, it's becoming a trend, not a one-time occurrence. i have consistently eaten over my daily point allowance for at least 3 weeks running. though some days it's only 1 point over, i'm still dipping in. though i'm earning 3-5 APs a day, and have averaged 27/week for the last 4 weeks. i'm supposed to be able to eat my APs, and my WPA, and still lose weight. but i'm gaining. or maintaining. and it's really getting frustrating. or maybe i'm just crazy. i don't know anymore.

pointsapalooza

no wonder i keep gaining weight. or staying the same. i am not focused, and for whatever reason, have had a really hard time sticking to my guns and away from the snacks. i haven't had this problem until recently, and getting mad at myself on the scale isn't motivating me to get back on track. the week starts out great, but by the weekend, i'm over it. just blase about the whole system. i don't know if i'm bored - or just PMSing - or just in a funk, but i really need to get over it. going up on the scale does not help with the whole "getting to goal" thing.

i know i'm comfortable where i am. my clothes fit great, i'm getting attention, and people actually comment that they can't see how i'd have more to lose. while this is not unwelcome, it's not motivating me to keep pushing forward. i've watched my mom celebrate her goal, and making lifetime, and i want to be there. how badly, though?