CUPCAKES!

i just need to throw a little love out for cupcakes. i want some for my birthday treat. nothing beats a single-serving size of cake and frosting. except 2. ;)

also, i just found out that my brother proposed to his girlfriend. i love them both, but am in a little bit of shock. definitely did not expect this news today.

5k crazy.

Hm. It may be time to admit that I am an addict. A 5k/10k addict. Or a t-shirt addict. Either way, it's costing me a fair amount of money.

Let's talk about what I've registered for so far this season:
May 1st - Walk MS 5k walk/run (I get a travel mug)
May 2nd - Colorado Rockies Home Run for the Homeless 5k (I get a t-shirt and 2 free Rockies tickets)
May 8th - Columbine HS Run for Remembrance 5k (I get a t-shirt)
May 31st - BolderBOULDER 10k (I get a t-shirt)

And that's just the beginning! I've got Race for the Cure and Memory Walk in October, plus Fans on the Field 10k in September. Not to mention whatever else comes up. I've even looked up a 5k for while I'm in Madison on 6/6 (but have not registered - and probably won't).

I've got a problem.

make it a good day

mike the replacement trainer has me stressed out. he switched up the schedule, and really, he's just pissing me off. 24 Hour Fitness in general pisses me off with the way they treat their trainers, and how their trainers pass that service on down to their clients. i know i'm not your regular client, but seriously. open up a few more slots so that i can actually get in a workout that doesn't occur in the middle of the fucking day. bah. enough. reliving the anger does not help me get over it. it's over. i'll deal with the 3 weeks that marko is gone, and just go back to the ridiculous schedule i have with him. at least i know when i'll see him.

i need to make it a good day today. i need to find other outlets for my anger/frustration/emotion than food - which i thought i was doing, but apparently didn't, as i got home from the game and proceeded to eat my way through my house until well after midnight. i broke my "no food in bed" rule, ate while reading, and generally just ate like i'll never see food again. i'm disappointed in myself, but have the evidence that when i do this the right way, i can still lose a fair amount of weight.

GAH! more trainer drama

I hate drama. I really do. And frankly, having a trainer for the last 3 months has been more drama than it's fucking worth.

Milos took a new job out of necessity in February. He hates it. And I hate not working out with him. He assigned me to Marko, who I've grown accustomed to, even though I'm not a huge fan of his personality. His workouts are hard, though, and I do like that. His schedule is really inflexible, though, which is good for the planner in me (my appointments are always at the same time), but not great for the summer, when I know there will be other things that I want to do on weeknights (read: baseball games happen on Tuesday nights). But no matter the inflexibility, I've adjusted my life to make it work.

And then Marko went on vacation for 3 weeks. And assigned me to Mike.

Mike thinks he's Jillian Michaels. Or Bob Greene. Either way, he's a meathead, and his whole life revolves around the gym. His schedule is even worse than Marko's. His "free" days don't align with mine - at all - and he doesn't come to work before 11 AM on Saturdays. Which means that I get to work out at 2 o'clock in the fucking afternoon the next 2 Saturdays. It ruins my Saturday - or at least the flow of my Saturday. I get to shower at 4 PM. Yay. Gah. I'm so pissed.

This isn't worth my fucking money. I hate you, 24 Hour Fitness. I don't think I'll be reupping my contract in 15 sessions. Thanks for trying to upsell me, though.

cupcakes

there are 2 cupcakes sitting on the table in our office kitchen. there is also one slice of DQ ice cream cake left in the freezer. i want them so badly - still feeling like i'm in sugar rush central, after some of the treats from the weekend - but i know they're not worth it.

went on a mental break this weekend, and i know it's going to hurt my WI again. serious self-sabotage - i have a great week, and follow it up with a weekend where i pretend like i'm never going to eat again. wow, tanya. just wow.

oh, and...

i just learned about this: http://ow.ly/1CcDI

yes. a cupcake truck. this could be my demise. ;)

FINALLY!

i lost 4.8 lbs last week. you read that right. 4.8. as in almost 5. as in if i could have peed out just a little more, i would have lost 5 lbs over the course of last week. yah, i know. inappropriately graphic. but seriously - i practically did a happy dance off the scale!

okay - so i got rid of the big weight gain from a couple weeks ago. but now comes the challenge - really and truly getting off this plateau. i'm back to the weight i've been stagnant at since around november. i've seen 171 - just 3 more pounds from where i am now - so i know i can get there. i have to keep up what worked this week, focus on filling foods and identifying hunger vs. emotion, and using my 2nd journal. oh, and i have to keep up the exercise - luckily, i've got 2 stays in place that really help with that - my WW buddy kristen on monday and thursday mornings, plus my trainer on tuesdays and saturdays. that makes all the difference in the world!

changing perspective

it's been a rough few months for this girl. and while i've come up with a 100 excuses and reasons why this or that is making a negative impact on my weight loss, it's all really come down to the fact that i've let other things take control and not said no. i've made bad food choices - eating too much and neglecting my self-control - and it shows on the scale. since jan 1, i've gained roughly 9 lbs. my bff says that it's "my new relationship," but i heartily argue against that. if it's anything, it's the stress of work and not really being happy in what i do there. i've let the stress control my choices, instead of taking the less traveled road. that's all there is.

i'm trying something new - writing down every day little things that are happening with work, etc., as a 2nd way of journaling. this blog helps, but it's hard for me to do in 5 minutes every day. if i carry it with me, i can see what every day was like, and better evaluate the days that i seem to go off the deep end. what happened that day, what event, etc., that might have triggered a bad choice. this should help me better monitor my emotions, and hopefully figure out new ways to deal with them. we'll see if it helps. so far this week, it seems to be doing the trick.

WI again

well last week wasn't bad, but looking at the scale this week, it's going to be a bad one. 3 weeks of bad choices have caught up with me. luckily, i'm having a pretty good week. i've tried to cut down on a lot of my snack habits, and have limited myself to one sweet treat per meal (or no more than 3 per day). that has definitely helped, and i'm finally feeling a little more in control. i don't know what my issue has been, but i need to face it. because frankly, i haven't lost weight in 5 months. and i'm tired of being stagnant. time for this last bit of weight to go.

weigh-in day

it's weigh in day. i'm not looking forward to it. i'm pretty sure i blew myself out of the water again. time will tell, i guess.