my scale is broken

i have a bad habit of weighing myself before i go to my weekly meeting. i don't know why, but it helps me deal with whatever the "real" outcome is when i step on the scale at WW. i can brace myself for a gain, or gauge what my loss is going to look like. and for the last couple weeks, my scale has been unresponsive when i step on it (it's digital). the battery's obviously dead, and i haven't taken the time to replace it, but i feel like i'm floundering without the ability to weigh myself.

isn't that silly? we spend so much time at WW talking about how the number on the scale is just a number and we shouldn't let us define us. yet, even after 2 years, i depend on my little scale at home for some extra reinforcement that i'm on the right path. or to serve as the knife in the heart so that i don't get extra emotional on the scale at the meeting. stress weighs more, you know.

even as i sit here writing this, i have to laugh. i'm so not defined by the number of my weight - i could actually care less if i go up or down every week - but i'm feeling lost without my scale. i never have been a big fan of a surprise - i always went searching for my christmas gifts in advance - maybe that quick step on the scale to see where things will land is just one more defense mechanism against the surprise attack.

oh fuck.

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

yah. awesome. great.

how the hell do i end up getting put in charge of things?