goals for our end-of-year challenge

just so i can keep track of where i want to be by 12/31.

1. finish the year strong - capture my excitement about the new WW program and figure out how it works. really and truly get back to the basics, something i haven't done for quite awhile.
2. face holiday parties, christmas, my trip to georgia, and new year's with resolve - and make choices that i'm proud of, instead of ones i'll regret.
3. run at least one more race - the jingle bell run! - before the "real" winter sets in, and get up to the hills for some snowboard action!
4. this is the "tanya dries out" challenge as well - too much wine on thanksgiving has made me decide that a month without alcohol is something i need.

feeling good.

it's been a long time since i've just been happy. happy with how i look, how i feel, what's happening in my life. where i haven't felt like there's some aspect of something to complain about. and right now, right at this moment, i'm happy. content. pleased. not looking for something else to "complete me." i like feeling like this.

tomorrow, adam and i celebrate our 1-year dating anniversary. seriously, the fastest year of my life, but i feel like i've known him forever. it's a good feeling, to feel so completely yourself around someone. there are really only a handful of people that i know that i feel this way when i'm with them, and it's different to have a man in that circle (who is not my brother and/or father). i like it.

while i'm not at my goal weight, or really that close to it, i feel better about my self-image than i have in a long time. and i'm not so worried about the weight coming off. i've been making better choices on a daily basis, and even though i've been "off-plan" - as in i haven't been tracking - i have been snacking less, and my workout routine remains consistent. i'm definitely on a plateau, but for the first time in a year, i'm not really upset about being here. i've come a LONG way.

i'm jazzed about the new program. i'm not one for change, as referenced in my last posting, but i am looking forward to this change. i enjoy getting new perspectives on this battle with food that i fight consistently, and i like hearing about the latest and greatest in science research (yes, i'm a big science nerd. don't act surprised). maybe the new look and the force to relearn what i "know" will push me off this plateau. if it doesn't, then i continue to maintain. and you know what? i'm a-okay with that.

dealing with change

i've been rather contemplative the last couple days, and have chalked it up to just having a lot to do in a short timeframe. but it's more than that. life as i know it is about to change tremendously. not only is my BFF dating someone, or engaged, she'll be married in 48 hours. while the task of wedding planning will be over and she may have more time, she'll have a husband to go home to now; it won't be just "kate," everything will be "kate & chris." and while i love him dearly, and think they're perfectly matched, finding girl time will be something even more scheduled than it already is.

kate is my first really close friend to get married. the first of our "clan," if you will, and suddenly, what was 5 is now 4. or 3, since beans is moving to california at the end of the month. and though we're not thinking about getting married, adam and i are pretty serious, and i've already seen the change in the amount of time i see and spend with my roommate. what happens if adam and i do move in together? i'll see her even less!

i know. it's life. things change. priorities change. relationships change. and while i'm up for the changes - they're all good for everyone involved - i have to get used to the idea and adjust my vision. it'll take time. it'll take effort. but i think we'll all survive.