why do you call me skinny?

let's face it. i'm not skinny. i'm still 125 lbs overweight. but lately, this has been the compliment of choice. my cousin, whom i haven't seen since january, came with us to a baseball game the other night, and the first thing she said was "damn, you look really skinny!" which is great, and i said thanks (i'm really trying to get better about taking compliments), but i can't help thinking that it's not true. i'm still fat. i still have to shop in the plus sizes. you can tell me look great, or that you can really tell that i've lost some poundage, but really? skinny? i don't buy it. but you can still keep commenting on it. i'm fine with that.

in other news, i am one pound away from my 75 lb mark. woot! i'm very excited about hitting that, especially right before my birthday. :D

week 32

so i weighed in for the 32nd time at weight watchers last night. i've lost 70 lbs in just about 8 months. that's pretty crazy. and a lot of weight. i mean, that's a big 3rd grader.

i'm really happy that this is working, but i've definitely started to get into the phase where this feels like more work than fun. i don't know if it's just because i'm getting tired of writing down every single thing i eat, or i "miss" being able to lay around on the couch for 8 hours without getting fidgety, or what the cause of this work-like feeling is. it's not like i'm not getting to eat the foods i want (case in point - cheese enchiladas for dinner last night), and i've totally learned how to read a nutritional label and make wiser decisions than just eating any old thing.

this feeling bothers me because it can ultimately lead to laziness and a lack of motivation to stay on track. and i like the track that i'm on. but how do i get past this feeling of drudgery to a place where i'm content again?

man, i blew it.

i was out of control yesterday. my eating, at least. i had a huge point lunch (thanks to the carrot cake and cream cheese frosting that was dessert), and i could not control my snacking. so i ended up eating through more than half of my flex points for the week. i've got to get back in control, and get back on track for eating some healthful, delicious things again. i don't know what exactly my trigger was yesterday on my snacking, but i have a feeling that it had to do with pure boredom. i should have made myself get up and go for a walk, but i didn't. i sat in front of the tv. and i ate. and ate. and ate.

oh well. today's a new day. back on track. exercise. whatever i can do to get this back where it needs to be.

off the topic...

so this has nothing to do with anything i usually write about, but i'm all of a sudden really sad.

one of my friends, that i've been trying to help find a job here for awhile, has made a huge decision in his life: he's moving to chicago, with or without a job. which totally depresses me. i have all these great friends from college, and almost all of them have moved out of colorado. this guy was just about the last of the people i want to hang out with that's left in the CO. i'm really happy that he's made an actual decision about his future; i'm sad that he's leaving me.

because, still, everything is about me.

ups and downs

i've been in this weird up and down pattern lately. i'm still losing good amounts of weight, so i'm not on a plateau. it's just a weird vacillation. i hope this week i don't go back up. i've stuck to the plan, walked a LOT, and haven't gone out of control on my snacking. so... i guess what we'll see what the scale says this week.

in other news, i bought new clothes this weekend, and i'm really happy that i can buy clothes at places other than at lane bryant. i can't wait until i can just go shopping with my friends at any store. :)