looking back and moving forward.

after a very nice note from a silent follower (which totally made my day, btw :D), i decided to go back and read my blog. i haven't done that in a very long time, and when i get the occasional note from someone regarding what i've written, i like to remind myself what i've shared with the world.

it's amazing to me how things can change. i used to loathe the gym. i was scared of what it meant, and the people that forced themselves into such torture. hello - i'm the person who forces herself into such torture. at least 3 times a week. and usually with a trainer or a workout buddy. and it's not torture. or that i used to push myself to get 30 minutes of walking in twice a week. and now my day of rest IS a 30-minute walk. and the beer diet doesn't work any more - which is the saddest part of all.

and of course, some things never change. even early in this battle (some say it's a journey, but it's a battle), i would have my weeks/months of not wanting to be on plan or making bad choices or not tracking. but the change now is that every point counts - and shows up on the scale when i eat it. at 280 lbs, i was still consistently eating fewer enough calories to see big scale drops even on bad weeks. at 180 lbs, i have to be much more vigilant - even with amount of exercise i do every week. i am still battling emotional eating, especially when it comes to "getting back" at someone.

things that i had wished would/wouldn't happen that have:
- not being recognized by someone i spent a fair amount of time with in/around
- being hit on by creepers, including one who propositioned me to be his mistress and called me a "total fucking hottie."

oh, and things that will NEVER change - it's all about me. and i love shoes.

best quote i found: "just do it, damnit!"

34.2 lbs. that's all. that's all i have to dominate. so just do it, damnit.