dear tanya,

okay, seriously, wtf, kid? i'm not going to beat up on you - because i know that's all you did yesterday - but you need a swift kick. going all "self-destruct" doesn't help anyone, especially not yourself. so you had a bad few days. and a bad few months. you can do this.

being angry or frustrated about other people's eating habits/abilities does not help you. you cannot police others choices, especially because you'd be angry if they were policing you. your issues are with food - dealing with emotions, overeating, etc. - and there's no saying what another person's issue may be. do not get angry because you can't eat like they do. you can eat like they do, but you have to be more cognizant. yes, you think it's unfair - but think about people who can't do all the stuff you can do. what's more unfair? the fact that you can't eat a whole pizza, or the fact that you can walk?

you've come so far. and look at what you can say you've accomplished, that isn't tied to a number on a scale. you can run, climb stairs, shop with your friends, date a wonderful man, fit into stadium seats, and look cute in pretty much anything. so what gives? you don't want to go back - you know what kind of hell that was. you know you don't want to go back. but when you sneak food, or you eat until you're well past full, or you eat when you're not hungry, you set yourself up to go back.

you must take it one day at a time. food will be there tomorrow. it will always be there tomorrow. punishing yourself with food is not healthy, and you have the willpower to stop after one cookie. make the decision to utilize it. you are smart and beautiful and kind. and you need to recognize that in yourself - not just wait for someone else to tell you.

love,
tanya