yesterday was the final crack in this humpty dumpty, and after all the pieces fell apart, i'm starting to pick them back up, one by one. it was a long day at the office, and i stepped on the scale and it said i had gained 2 lbs. i was so sad and frustrated - this was the week that i did everything right on plan. i tracked, i planned, i exercised - i worked the plan and the plan failed. and of course, this was our motivation meeting, and i was not drinking the kool-aid last night. my leader, michelle, says that it's cortisol from the work stress. she's right. but there's nothing - nothing in that little book or any of the meeting tips - that can fix it when you're doing it all right and the scale fails. so my quandry, and the basis for my 30-45 minutes of sobbing during and after the meeting, is that i don't know how to fix this - and the one thing that i felt i had control over this week, the one thing that i thought might give me a break, was the one thing that finally just crushed my soul. or was maybe just the pinprick that released all the pent-up frustration, let me cry it all out, and will now let me move on. and maybe get rid of the same 5 lbs i've been toying with for 2 months.
nothing drastic happened, other than the sobbing and mild cursing post-meeting. i had dinner with my mom; vented about work and why the scale bothered me so much, and basically decided to fake it until something finally gives. went home, made my lunch, planned out my day for today, and went to bed. got up this morning - forced myself out of bed for a run - and now i'm back at work. my outlook is improved, though i'm nowhere near fixed. i'll get there - i go through this cycle at least once a year - so don't be too worried about me.
3 positives:
1. i started my day with some exercise - got the endorphines flowing and added some APs to my week.
2. i have tracked all the way through dinner now, and i've already got my GHGs handled for today.
3. i'm planning ahead for the weekend - trying not to use any WPs before the big sunday game!
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